Blog

Reflections, resources and insights to help guide your thinking – and a space to share my story of loss and life after.

Samuel's 21 for 21 Challenge

As a family, we are undertaking 21 challenges in the run-up to what would have been Samuel’s 21st birthday on 2nd October, and we are...

Accountability Accomplished: Samuel Howes inquest findings of multiple failings

It was 11:12 on Thursday 30th March when we got the knock on the door. The court usher popped her head into the room, the jury was...

Police Horror Stories - Week 2 Inquest Reflections

As we headed into week two of Samuel’s inquest we had a welcome three-day weekend. It gave us an extra day of processing and recovery. I...

'Services failed to meet Samuel’s unique needs'. Week 1 Inquest Reflections

The first week of Samuel's inquest is over. A small milestone. All health and social care witnesses have now delivered their evidence....

Impending Inquest Terrors

Samuel's inquest is one week away. One week until I stand in a courtroom, swear on oath and give my testimony to a random group of...

Embarking on a book to tell Samuel's story

A few years ago, whilst in the midst of Samuel's challenges, I said to my daughters "One day I'm going to write a book about all of this....

Weddings, Loss and Strongbow Dark Fruits

On Saturday 10th December 2022 my youngest daughter Daisy was married amid a beautiful snowy winter wonderland in Northumberland. It was...

The Brutality of Inquests

I recently tweeted "The inquest process is brutal" and went on to describe my experience. I got several replies in support from those who...

World Suicide Prevention Day - It's more complex than a conversation

Well, what a month September is becoming each year. The anniversary of my son Samuel's death by suicide is on the second. Little did I...

Grief hitting at 18 months - What the hell!

18 months after losing my 17-year-old son to suicide, and a little over a year after losing both my parents, I hit a slump, a horrible...