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Blog
Reflections, resources and insights to help guide your thinking – and a space to share my story of loss and life after.


Sep 12, 20232 min read
Samuel's 21 for 21 Challenge
As a family, we are undertaking 21 challenges in the run-up to what would have been Samuel’s 21st birthday on 2nd October, and we are...


Apr 5, 20235 min read
Accountability Accomplished: Samuel Howes inquest findings of multiple failings
It was 11:12 on Thursday 30th March when we got the knock on the door. The court usher popped her head into the room, the jury was...


Mar 26, 20234 min read
Police Horror Stories - Week 2 Inquest Reflections
As we headed into week two of Samuel’s inquest we had a welcome three-day weekend. It gave us an extra day of processing and recovery. I...


Mar 20, 20233 min read
'Services failed to meet Samuel’s unique needs'. Week 1 Inquest Reflections
The first week of Samuel's inquest is over. A small milestone. All health and social care witnesses have now delivered their evidence....


Mar 7, 20232 min read
Impending Inquest Terrors
Samuel's inquest is one week away. One week until I stand in a courtroom, swear on oath and give my testimony to a random group of...


Jan 9, 20233 min read
Embarking on a book to tell Samuel's story
A few years ago, whilst in the midst of Samuel's challenges, I said to my daughters "One day I'm going to write a book about all of this....


Dec 18, 20224 min read
Weddings, Loss and Strongbow Dark Fruits
On Saturday 10th December 2022 my youngest daughter Daisy was married amid a beautiful snowy winter wonderland in Northumberland. It was...


Nov 16, 20223 min read
The Brutality of Inquests
I recently tweeted "The inquest process is brutal" and went on to describe my experience. I got several replies in support from those who...

Sep 9, 20223 min read
World Suicide Prevention Day - It's more complex than a conversation
Well, what a month September is becoming each year. The anniversary of my son Samuel's death by suicide is on the second. Little did I...

Aug 17, 20224 min read
Grief hitting at 18 months - What the hell!
18 months after losing my 17-year-old son to suicide, and a little over a year after losing both my parents, I hit a slump, a horrible...
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